sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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