Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
