Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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