its not stalking. its research.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
