How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
