This is not my ceiling
Say something about gay babies.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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