You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
this is an emotional support booty call
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
