If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
