since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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