I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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