Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
