i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
