Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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