The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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