Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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