In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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