***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
