She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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