Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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