we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize