soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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