i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
