____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
