oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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