this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How external is "for external use only"?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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