One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
should my penis look like a turkey
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
