I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
