i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
