Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
