Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
