Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
