I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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