He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
