I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize