did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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