____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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