Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
