I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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