You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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