Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
