Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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