My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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