quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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