Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
