Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
