Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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