You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize