girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize