I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
