I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Green mimosas i think yes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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