420 ftw
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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