you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
