i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
