Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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