I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
