U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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