best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
