Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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