thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
