Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
