making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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