I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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