Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
