it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
