Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
