I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
