YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
