So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
