Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize