You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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